Friday, March 1, 2013

I give myself away...

Worship during a Sunday morning service seems like a strange time to get the vision for my blog (and maybe even my life), doesn't it?  Well, that is what happened a couple of weeks ago.  This is the song we were singing...
I've been praying for weeks about what direction to take with my blogging.  I came to a point where I was a mere button push away from deleting the whole thing.  I just couldn't do it...push that delete button.
Then I realized that the reality of it was this - I liked the idea of being a blogger.  I liked the community aspect and the wisdom exchanged in the blogosphere is tremendous, but I found what I was really reckoning with was - whether or not I wanted to put in the work it takes to be a blogger.
I am keenly aware and understand fully the principle of "we make time and space for things that are truly important to us," so this bit of truth hit hard.  Real hard.
I've struggled for quite some time with "not finishing" things.  Projects, crafts, scrapbooks, photos, etc.  I have stacks of things that have gone undone...unfinished.  And I've just not wanted blogging to be added to that pile.  And by deleting it, that's exactly what would have happened. 
In the long run, it's really much less about what I want and desire and more about simple obedience to what God has said - what He has quickened in my heart.  It's about giving myself so that He can use me in whatever way He sees fit.  It may be my words on a screen, or a comment I make.  It may be a hug and a prayer with a real life friend who needs them.  


Whatever He desires is really my desire.
I look back and when I was standing there singing those words with hands lifted high, I truly understood the vision of my life and my blog.  I've always understood the words, but now I know the truth, the reality of it.  

My life is about giving myself away in such a way 
that I can be used by Him for His purposes - 
so that His Kingdom is advanced here on earth.  

It boils down to this - it's a choice.  Am I going to walk down this path of writing with all of its vulnerability and human-ness, building community so that God's purpose and plan can be achieved in the lives of myself and others?  
Or am I going to be content to wonder what could have been?  
Am I willing to step up and "punch fear in the face" as Jon Acuff says, and write?  Just write, comment, and interact...not for me, but out of simple obedience to the One who has called me to this place in time?  It's an honor really.  To be chosen for such a time as this to affect the sphere of influence HE has given me...
It's really an act of my will, this writing challenge (and every other area of my life)...

My willing and intentional response to His call to "give myself away so that He can use me." 

Linked with:
Fellowship Fridays
Desire to Inspire
Women Living Well
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